The joys of motherhood

My 80-pound Rottweiler puppy, Ruby, got into my toiletries on Sunday. This was 100% my fault, of course. I was the one who left the drawer open when I went to work, even though I've always closed it before. Anyway, this curious doggy helped herself to:
- A jar of vaseline
- A bottle of aloe vera
- A BIG bottle of mineral oil
- A bag of antelope musk perfume (I liked that stuff too, I got it in Morocco)

So, explosive diarrhea and vomiting all over the apartment of course. A very sad and sick dog with her entire rear end encrusted with mineral oil and feces. When I called the veterinarian, the receptionist panicked and told me I had to take Ruby to the animal emergency room so that they could induce vomiting. But luckily, she had already vomited. The first line of treatment (M.'s idea) ended up being bubblegum flavored Pediolyte, which is like Gatorade for babies. Ruby recoiled from the flavor, but for 36 hours I offered her Pediolyte and no water, so eventually she drank it down and started shitting solids again. Which is a good thing, because this is a big dog. We already call her turds "Mount Ruby", and I much prefer dealing with Mount Ruby than dealing with Toxic Sludge Lake Ruby. I ended up spending most of the day yesterday cleaning the dog herself and cleaning the apartment. And Ruby's not out of the woods yet. Even though she's energetic again, and she's eating, her bumhole is red and inflamed, and she cries in pain whenever we lift her tail to inspect it. I'll be taking her to the vet this afternoon, so that they can shine a light where the sun doesn't shine. The whole experience has left me well-trained, as I will NOT be leaving drawers or cabinets open again.

In other news, M. and I are still harvesting eggplant, tomatoes, and tomatillos from the garden. The eggplant are even still flowering, so I'm going to fertilize them once more with our homemade compost tea. (Take food scraps, leave in a sealed container, wait 3 weeks, drain the liquid off of the bottom, dilute 8 oz liquid in 5 gallons water, fertilize with 1-2 cups of dilution per plant.) M. has proposed sheltering the plants through the winter using shelters made of chicken wire stuffed with leaves. Always thinking, that one is. So, perhaps I'll be eating eggplant all winter. Which is good, because my eggplant are so much more flavorful and succulent than anything you suckers are getting from the store.